June 7, 2011

Induction conundrum

40 weeks and four days.  I've been here before.  My firstborn didn't come until nine days after my due date.  This one is looking to be on that track as well.  But the difference this time is I am at home instead of down in the Bay Area.  (The decision to travel from home when I was "past due" is not a decision I regret, but won't be repeating)

And this time, I have set an induction date.  I set it thinking that by having a "date", my body will go into labor beforehand.

I really don't WANT to induce.  I want this kid to decide when he or she wants to come out into this world. I feel like I'm fiddling with some cosmic destiny by artificially pushing things along.

I know I can wait.  I know I can cancel the induction date.  I know I have a few more days before an induction will really be necessary.

But I also want my own doctor to deliver my child. Since doctors rotate through labor and delivery, I would like a familiar face looking up at me while I am - ahem - looking down. I have really bonded with my doctor, which I don't know many women can say. 

So I set a date for when I know my doctor will be there and before I have to do risk tests for this pregnancy.  But still...I hope for those contractions to start on their own.

So this kid has two more days until I go in for my induction.  Maybe something will happen tonight.  But it really is out of my control. All I can do is release my worries and believe things will happen as they are meant to happen. Perfectly and beautifully. 

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