July 5, 2011

I hate being "that girl".

If you have a spouse/significant other, there is probably SOMETHING they do (or don't do) that bothers you. Maybe they leave their socks on the kitchen floor or never empty the dishwasher or fail to change the roll of toilet paper.  So you ask them to stop doing it or start doing it and they say they will, but then they don't and the cycle starts again.

And soon...ever so slowly...you realize you've become "that girl". And by "that girl" I mean a nag.

I even asked a male friend if I was being mean by harping on my husband.
"No Nikki. Of course not.  You nag just the right amount," he said. (gee thanks!)

I don't WANT to nag "just the right amount".  I don't want to nag at all.  What I want is for something to be done in a reasonable amount of time after I've asked and he has agreed to get it done. 

But what's a reasonable amount of time?  That day? That week?  And if it is NOT done, do I do it myself and then "nag" about having to do it myself?

How do I stop being "that girl"? Or is this just one of the roles I must sometimes play in this adventure we call marriage?


  1. Pick your battles carefully. Let the small stuff slide. every time you hold your tongue, put a quarter in a jar on top of the refrigerator. Have two jars, one for each of you. By the time they are full, your kids will have learned a good lesson: "Hey! There are jars of money on top of the refrigerator! it's Barbie party time!"

  2. Fred's right. Christi and I do our best to be blind to one another's faults, and encourage and appreciate each other's strengths. We've seen firsthand how a critical approach ruins relationships over time. Ever read that book the 5 Love Languages? Sounds like yours might be "Acts of Service". If he knows that, it just might help!