August 22, 2012

Don't call her a princess.

Halloween is a couple months away and I can't wait. I love dressing up the kids.

My daughter's first Halloween she was the obligatory pumpkin. Then she was a spider...complete with web and legs. And last year, I beamed when she said she wanted to be a pirate.

So when we passed the costume store, I eagerly asked my daughter what she wanted to be this year.

And she said she wants to be a...princess.  So it begins.

I really prided myself on having a daughter that was girlie without being TOO girlie. She has some dress up clothes that other people have bought her, but she has zero princess dresses.

And it was a conscious choice. My husband is kind of anti-princess. Tinkerbell and fairies are okay, but he has a little hang-up about the whole princess mentality.

And I agree. It's nothing against Disney or fairy tales that I enjoyed as a child. But it's the extreme focus on beauty. The ball gowns, the hair, the crown. The waiting to get rescued. The "am I pretty?"
In today's age, our girls are being sexualized WAY too young and while some of you may believe I am over-reacting, I do believe it can start when their role models are pretty princesses.

Now there HAVE been a few new fairy tales showing off more powerful princesses and I applaud it. But for every Merida there are just as many, if not more Sleeping Beauties.
We all know the pressure to be pretty will come soon enough.  Am I wrong to want to want to put it off as long as possible?



  1. Princess Tiana was awesome too! The bigger fish to fry is Barbie- I will buy my daughter a million more princess dresses before I will buy another Barbie!! I think the princesses can be good role models and even Barbie can be an important lesson to teach any child. Princesses don't just have to be pretty faces waiting for a prince to save them; they can be hard working, selfless people who keep working at life and keep the faith that everything will work out but you have to teach that. And from Barbie I am trying to teach my daughter that that bitch is fake:). Ha, no really- I take every opportunity to say she is beautiful just the way she is and I really feel that! My daughter loves princesses and barbies and though I had hopes she wouldn't I think it is more harmful to forbid or hate something and instead have turned this obsession into a learning opportunity!

  2. As parents, we get to make those decisions for what is right by our family and that is what is great! If you feel like being a princess is not what you want for your daughter, than you totally have that right!

    I am on the other end. Both my girls will always be my princesses. They will have every single princess dress they want. It makes her smile. It makes me smile. I don't think being a princess is all about being pretty though. Being a princess is being ladylike, caring, generous and loving. I think Princess Diana, Princess Kate in addition to the Disney Princesses. I think it also build her self esteem to feel good about herself (not just looks but in how to be kind).

    I think the important thing is to be well rounded. She loves her dresses but she also loves to play with trucks, cars and puzzles. She loves Izzy from the neverland pirates. We tell her how smart she is in addition to how pretty she is. We have avoided the barbie issue so far but would never tell her no if she wanted it. As long as I try to be a good role model and teach her good character, I think it will all work out great.

    I LOVE Tiana. A sweet hard working girl who does whatever it takes to get what she wants. I dislike Merida. I get the whole being progressive and not being rescued type princess. I dislike that she is so stuck on what she wants, she refuses to listen to her family and puts them in danger because she could only think of herself. Thats not the type of princess I want her to be. It just screams bratty teenager. Any way, I think we can take values from any character to help mold out children into great adults. You defintely wont be seeing my child on a pageant show. THAT is the extreme only focusing on beauty that is horrible.

    I know a lot of people who agree with your point but I think it's all about how you approach it. I know what a great mother you are, and princess or not our girls will turn out to be wonderful.