The "party" life

My family and some friends went camping over the weekend. It was six adults and four kids. We went to Tahoe...this place called Zephyr Cove.

 

When I say this is a party beach...I mean a PAR-TAY beach. There was a bachelorette party happening, a girl who apparently couldn't drink without the use of a beer bong and the average age of the people there had to be 25.

And then there was us. A couple of mid-30s parents with their two preschool girls, a toddler and a ten month old boy.

We even had a pack and play with us. We were that cool.

And as I was sitting there doing some excellent people watching, my friend turned to me and asked if I could imaging NOT having the kids there.

 

And I couldn't.

I mean, yes I remember a time before kids when we went to this beach. But now, if my kids aren't with me, it's not the same. I'm thinking about them, talking about them, finding moments that they would really love if they were there.

Basically, I did 25. I did that age really good. I went out after the sun went down and didn't come back home until it was up.  I did the no worries about tomorrow and the who cares about yesterday.

And now that part of my life is over.

 

 And that is perfectly fine.

 

So for those thinking about having kids really young, I say wait. Go have fun. So someday when there is HUGE party happening right in front of your face, you won't feel like you are missing out.

 

But instead you'll know you're having an even better time...with your kid.

Don't call her a princess.

Halloween is a couple months away and I can't wait. I love dressing up the kids.

My daughter's first Halloween she was the obligatory pumpkin. Then she was a spider...complete with web and legs. And last year, I beamed when she said she wanted to be a pirate.

So when we passed the costume store, I eagerly asked my daughter what she wanted to be this year.

And she said she wants to be a...princess.  So it begins.

I really prided myself on having a daughter that was girlie without being TOO girlie. She has some dress up clothes that other people have bought her, but she has zero princess dresses.

And it was a conscious choice. My husband is kind of anti-princess. Tinkerbell and fairies are okay, but he has a little hang-up about the whole princess mentality.

And I agree. It's nothing against Disney or fairy tales that I enjoyed as a child. But it's the extreme focus on beauty. The ball gowns, the hair, the crown. The waiting to get rescued. The "am I pretty?"

 

In today's age, our girls are being sexualized WAY too young and while some of you may believe I am over-reacting, I do believe it can start when their role models are pretty princesses.

Now there HAVE been a few new fairy tales showing off more powerful princesses and I applaud it. But for every Merida there are just as many, if not more Sleeping Beauties.

 

We all know the pressure to be pretty will come soon enough.  Am I wrong to want to want to put it off as long as possible?

 

No easy answer regarding plastic surgery for kids.

A couple of weeks ago, I heard about this non-profit that performs plastic surgery on children. It's called the Little Baby Face Foundation and it does everything from fixing cleft palates and head deformities to pinning back ears.

Little Baby Face proudly states that they perform these free surgeries so children who once hid in the shadows because of how they looked are now self-confident.

And this got me thinking.

What physical issue would my child have to have in order for me to consider plastic surgery?

And would my decision be swayed by how my child was feeling about their own appearance?

When when I posed the question on my Facebook page, one woman felt that a major physical deformity, like a missing ear or burn injury is worthy of plastic surgery. But something like a big nose or big ears are not.

But one story on the foundation's page talks about a girl who contemplated suicide because she was teased about her big ears.

And while I do agree that we shouldn't give in to bullies, I can also imagine how painful it is to look in the mirror everyday, with adolescent hormones raging, and see those ears sticking out or that big bump on the top of the nose.

If a child is so unhappy that they want to kill themselves, what should a parent do?

And please think about this from a "this is REALLY my reality" perspective. Imagine if you found out your child was close to KILLING themselves.


 What.Would.You.Do?

And don't forget, some things are apparently okay to do to your child. No one thinks twice when braces are put on to fix an overbite.

Parents don't say, "oh you'll learn to love your buck teeth."  No. They put the braces on so the child has a nice smile.

So what is wrong with pinning back ears or smoothing out the nose?

Is the fight against bullying more important than a child's depression about their physical appearance?

I understand that people should love themselves for who and what they are and that performing plastic surgery on children is a very slippery slope and not appropriate in all instances.

But I also know that there is nothing brighter in this whole world than my children's smile and if I lost that because they don't like how they look, I cannot say for certain what I would or would not do.

How hard should parents push their child to succeed?

When I watch the Olympics, the cameras always flash to the parents.  I wonder what goes through their minds as they watch their "babies" compete.  

Do they remember the constant shuttling back and forth to swim meets and practices?  Do they remember all the trophies and medals, intense competitions and at times crushing defeats?

And do they remember what they said to keep their child going and focused on the prize?

This thought ran though my mind as I debate whether to keep my three year old daughter in dance.

She just started.  I put her in a summer session so she could get a taste of ballet, tap and gymnastics.  On her first day she made a friend, learned the word plie, knew how to shuffle and came running out with a smile on her face. 

So I was surprised when she said no to being signed up for fall classes.

When I asked her why, she just repeated the answer. No.

I'm not saying she has to be a prima ballerina.  But should I push her to keep dancing, knowing full well that she will have a good time...or do I just let her quit?

My husband says she should do one more session before deciding whether to stop.  I of course agree, but a part of me...a big part, wants my daughter to say the words, "yes, I want to keep dancing."

And as I watch these parents sitting in the stands in London, I wonder if they went through the same battle.  What did they say when their child said, "I'm done.  I quit.  I don't want to do it anymore."

And as they cheer their child on in the OLYMPICS, I wonder if they feel the battle was worth it.