October 12, 2010

Love, friendship and the SEX in between!

If you follow Hollywood gossip (it's hard to get away from it!) then you've heard that David Arquette and Courtney Cox as well as singer Christina Aguilera and her husband Jordan Bratman, are separating. Divorce is not breaking news, but when it happens to famous couples, everyone hears about it.

From what I've read, Cox is tired of Arquette's "silly" ways and she no longer wants to "mother" him. Arquette admitted to Howard Stern he would purposely do things to embarrass his wife. And he said they hadn't been intimate in more than a month.

Now I'm not trying to lay blame, but didn't these people KNOW who they were marrying?? Arquette has always been "silly" and Cox has been described as everyone's mother. But now these qualities that led to love are no longer attractive and may soon lead to divorce.

Aguilera and Bratman's problems also seem to stem from attraction. A source close to the couple said they felt more like friends than husband and wife. I'm not saying physical attraction isn't important, but come on! In real life, married couples don't always feel like ripping each others clothes off and doing it on the kitchen counter.

In real life, a cuddle on the couch is all the intimacy a couple (especially those with kids) can muster. Have movies forced us to believe that unless we want to ravage our partner 24-7, then we must not be in love?? Give me a break.

I love my husband. ADORE him. He makes me laugh and smile more than anyone on this entire planet. He knows me and I know him. We are both fully aware of who we married...flaws and all. Does he do things that drive me completely batty? OF COURSE! Am I a pain in the ass? YES YES YES!!! But do we love each other unconditionally? Absolutely.

And shouldn't THAT be enough? Or do we need a steady stream of steamy, R-rated bedroom behavior? Do couples really think that if they find another partner, everything between the sheets will always sizzle? HA!

The truth is...everything "new" eventually becomes "normal". What you fall back on, what I believe LOVE is based on, is a firm foundation of friendship. Yet that is what both of these famous couples are willing to give up.

So, what do you do to keep your relationship going? And what would be worth breaking up over? Comment on my blog or email me at mamaonthemic@yahoo.com

Until next time...


  1. To keep the relationship going:
    -Count your "have" and not your "have-not's"

    - Rip each others clothes off once in a while
    - preferably in public

    -Be thankful, everyday, even for the small stuff

    -Be kind and courteous. Manners go along way, even if you already know what the other is thinking

    -And ladies, learn to LOVE giving head and do it often!

    Gentlemen, learn to love setting the mood, footrubs, sexy massages, and provide them often!

    Give Thanks for Your Blessings and they will multiply!!!

  2. Loving someone is a choice! At the end of the day it comes down to your choice to love and be loved. It really is as simple as that. People complicate it when they stop caring, become selfish and just stop choosing to be present in the relationship they had committed to. Friendship, understanding and RESPECT goes a very long way to maintaining a healthy loving relationship. When one or both people makes themselves the focus, things will fall apart quickly. There is no "i" in "We" or "Us". Healthy relationships are the ones when each person has enough love and time to be individuals, parents and a couple; each their own entity requiring equal attention. If you are fulfilled as an individual, and you embrace your role as a parent and share both the joy and headache with your partner, and make your "coupleship" an equal priority, you will have balance. Couples who do not have that balance quickly fail! So the trick is to be aware and get out of your own head long enough to notice! Romance is great, ripping each other's clothes off is also good and with daily respect, appreciation, and support you've really got something AWESOME!

    My husband and I will be celebrating 20 years of marital bliss next month! I actually love him MORE than I did 20 years ago. He is my best friend, cheerleader, mentor, lover and the sugar in my coffee and the apple of my eye! It just doesn't get any better than this. Just MAKE THE CHOICE! :)