Could empathy be the answer?

A fellow mom I know had to help her daughter shave her armpits for the first time.  Did I mention her daughter is five years old?  Now before you start thinking this is some wacky toddlers and tiaras scenario, the mother did this because her daughter was being teased by other girls and in turn did not want to participate in summer school swim days.

These girls are FIVE.  FIVE!  I can't believe that bullying is starting so young.  This is kindergarten age.

I know if I had been in the same position and my daughter was coming home in tears over something like a few armpit hairs, yeah I'd probably help her shave it.

But I know that won't fix the problem. What does giving in to bullies really do?  They'll probably just find something else to tease her about and the vicious cycle would continue.

So what is the answer? Especially when we are talking about kids as young as five years old?

Should I teach her to fight? Maybe teach her a few choice words to say that will cut the girls to the bone?  Believe me, I know some.

It may feel good in the moment, but I know that would only feed the beast.

And this bullying really needs to stop.

What I feel is  missing from all the lessons parents teach their kids is a little empathy.

 When someone makes my child sad, I ask her:
  How does it feel when you're called a baby?  How does it feel when your best friend ditches you for bigger kids?

Of course she says it doesn't feel good.

And that is when I tell her to remember THAT feeling the next time she thinks about being mean to someone else.

Because maybe if kids are taught to recognize how awful it feels to be bullied, they'll stop and think before they say something hurtful to someone else.

But it will take a parent's guidance to make this happen.  So how about it parents?

A letter to my children

Something bad happened today.  

You are both way too young to understand why people are crying on the television. But to try and put it simply, people went out for a night that was supposed to be fun and it ended up being the last thing several of them did.

Someday, when you are a parent, you'll know what it feels like to watch a moment like this play out.  And I'll bet you candies to cakes that the face of your own child will flash in your mind.

I'm sure you'll feel a flood of emotions and reactions. You'll possible contemplate keeping your child at home for the rest their lives, maybe pulling them out of school and seriously ponder whether you even live in the right country.

You may then hesitate if your kid wants to stay out later, go on a road trip or join their friends for the midnight showing of a blockbuster movie.

But while I would love nothing more than to put bubble tape around all the hard edges of your life, I can't. 

Because it is these moments, when you are pricked by the hard realities of life, that you must remember LIFE IS WORTH LIVING, not being wasted in the fear of what COULD happen.  

Go have fun.

Work it out!

If you have more than one child, then I'm sure this is a scenario you've encountered. You're out of the room when suddenly you hear a crash, a thud, maybe some screaming from your kids.

In a huff you go see what's the matter and what do you find? Paint on the wall, the dog is covered in tape, there is some mystery substance ground into the carpet and of course the kids are fighting over what was once an insignificant toy but has now become there own personal precious.

That is when you as a parent, throw up your hands and say, WORK IT OUT.

And that is the exact message I have for DirecTv and Viacom.

They are bickering like children over what to one is billions of dollars and to the other is pennies...but you know what? I don't care.

I KNOW that my kids shouldn't watch TV and I KNOW that this is a first-world problem where the universe seems to implode when MTV and Comedy Central are not readily available.

But I'm not talking about THOSE channels. I need my Nick Jr. back.

I have a precious 90 minutes in the morning to get up from bed, get myself semi-presentable (ok, not really presentable), wake the baby, feed the baby, dress the 3 year old, feed the 3 year old, brush the 3 year old's hair and teeth...without mixing up the brushes and get the kid to preschool.

Do you know what Nick Jr. gives me? The time to make and drink a single, hot steaming cup of coffee. And you know what? That's not too much to ask.

So you know what DirecTV and Viacom?? I don't care who's at fault. Work it out!

A message to the older generation

Being a parent in front of your own parents can be very interesting. Because there come moments when you as a parent have to decide whether you are going to raise your children the same way YOU were raised.

 

Isn't it funny how kids all have minds of their own? You would think if a child is raised in a house with certain beliefs, THEY would maintain those beliefs when they got older.

But that is not always the case. Take the recent story about actor Brad Pitt's mom Jane. She wrote a letter in her hometown paper urging Christians to still vote for Romney even though the man is Mormon. She went on to write that Barack HUSSEIN Obama is a liberal who among other things supports same-sex marriage.

The whole thing made me laugh. I love how Mama Pitt thinks that just because her son is a famous actor people who were on the fence would suddenly say, Ya know? I was GOING to vote for Obama, but the Pitt lady totally changed my mind!"

But was she trying to change other people's minds or just her own child's? Are Pitt family dinners like MY family dinners where we drink bottle after bottle of wine debating everything under the sun?

Was Mama Pitt so tired of hearing her son come out in support of something she is against that she took to writing a very public letter, in hopes that maybe he would come around?

I hope she isn't holding her breath.

Because when you think back to past civil rights issues, there had to come a point when a child, no matter what the age, looked at the older generation and said what YOU believe is NOT what I believe. Oh...and pass the wine.