What is it about Santa pictures?

So Christmas is over and it's time to start downloading and checking out everyone's holiday photos. And inevitably there are several pictures of children sitting on Santa's lap.

My daughter actually did pretty good. This was the first year that I attempted to get her to sit with Ol' Saint Nick. Luckily, I took her to a tree lighting where the line had maybe ten people in it. I didn't have to wait long to feel the death grip she gave me as I started walking toward the bearded man and his belly full of jelly.

She didn't really cry, but instead didn't want me to leave her. So we have a picture in our year-end photo book of me (with my big cheese-grin) and my daughter giving me a look that says "Don't you dare leave me!"

But as we were visiting my parents over Christmas, my mom decided to take my nieces, nephew and daughter to the mall and take a pic with Santa. I told her beforehand that there was no way my daughter would sit by herself on Santa's lap. And she doesn't give two winks if her cousins are there. She is truly freaked out by Santa.

And it happened as I said it would. My daughter death-gripped my mother and good old grandma had to sit in on the picture. But my daughter smiled beautifully and the picture is definitely a keeper.

I tell you this story because I have been perusing online pictures of Santa "tantrums". You know the ones where kids are literally screaming and crying and reaching out for their parents, who are mostly likely sitting on the sidelines, giggling.

What do parents get out of subjecting their children to this obviously terrifying encounter? Do they think it is a right of passage?

I'm not saying I don't smirk and laugh at some of the pictures, but I really can't imagine letting MY daughter get hysterical just so I have a picture of her with Santa Claus.

So what do you think? Is it sadistic to subject your offspring to a frightening meet-and-greet or do you think it's harmless holiday fun?

Should you leash your child?

So I was dropping my one and a half year old daughter off at a friend's house before work. As I pulled her out of her car seat, she looked up at me and said "I knock on the door." I often let her walk from my car to the front door, since she really gets a kick out of it. But today was a bit different.

Today, my friend's car was also in the driveway, so I had to park a little further down. I watched my daughter walk towards the house, but then turned around and grabbed her diaper bag and car seat. When I turned back around, I saw my friend had the front door open. But she was looking at me...not down towards the ground. "Is she there?" I asked. "No." Immediately I hear a car in the distance and briefly panic. I call my daughter's name and run up the driveway to look quickly in front of my friend's car. There she is, safe and sound, pointing at some dirt on the driveway.

I mention this story because I was reading an article about a toddler who drowned in a fountain at a San Francisco hotel. The toddler apparently wandered off. The question was raised on whether putting a "leash" on a toddler could have prevented this tragedy.
I am not saying that I would put a leash on my child to walk from my car to the house. But I couldn't help but make the connection between the brief seconds I had taken my eyes off of my daughter and her ability to "disappear".

Before my daughter, I laughed at people who put leashes on their kids and swore I would NEVER do that. And while I still have not beelined to Babies R Us for one, the idea of a "leash" doesn't seem so bad now that I actually have a child of my own.

And I only have one! What happens when number two comes along?

Kids are quick and focusing on one child means your eyes are not on the other. So I am re-thinking my previous ban on "leashes". Maybe I'll buy one of those cute animal backpacks where the tail is the "leash". (And I can't wait to hear what my husband would say if I buy one.)

So what do you think? To leash or not to leash...that is the question. Until next time....

Working Mamas UNITE!

As a working mother, I know the pressures that come from both the home AND the business world.  You desperately want to succeed at both.  But if parenting as taught me anything, it's that help from others can make all the difference.

That is why for my latest Mama on the Mic radio show, I am featuring an amazing networking group that is designed to help working mothers succeed.  It is called eWomenNetwork.  It is a national organization that has chapters all around the United States. 

After listening to my show, please check them out at http://www.ewomennetwork.com/

And if you decide to join, please let me know how it goes.  Hey, you may even see me at one of their meetings!  Until next time my friends....

Who is parenting your child? You or the Internet???

It can be hard to get your voice through to your child when they are distracted by the internet, cell phones and social media sites.  In my latest Mama on the Mic show, I talked with a Roseville woman who has some very good advice on how to parent in this network culture.

After listening, please give her website a visit: http://www.bananamoments.com/

Are we "pimping" out our kids?

I LOVE social media.  And the number one reason I do is because of all the PICTURES!!  I won't talk to someone for a few days, weeks or years...but I can still get a snapshots of their lives when they post pictures online.

I like party pictures, scenic pictures and most of all, pictures of kids!  They make me smile and I get to see children grow up, even if it's only through someone else's lens.  But how much is too much?

My personal facebook page has TONS of pictures of my daughter.  I can't help it.  She is just too cute!  And I love when people comment about how big she has gotten or about the funny face she is making.

And when I really think about it, I posted pictures of my daughter when she was fresh out of the womb.  I just couldn't wait for everyone to see her.  And while I didn't do it with my daughter, I have seen numerous ultrasound pictures online.  That means precious babies are getting their first close-ups before they've even taken their first breath!

But is it too much? 

I work in the news biz.  And I KNOW how many perverts are out there.  It makes my skin crawl thinking that they could be looking at a precious picture of MY child and using it for some sick sexual satisfaction.

Is ignorance bliss?  Should I not care if pervs are looking at the pictures as long as I don't know about it?  Maybe.  But as she gets older and goes online herself, will these sickos be following her...just waiting for the day they can "find" her online?  Would I have indirectly introduced a sexual predator to my child?

It's a tough dilemma and one I would LOVE to get your insight on.  What do YOU do? 

Is your child good with money? They can be!

I believe every parent would love for their child to learn the value of a dollar.  But too many times, parents just give, give, give without thinking about the message that is sending to their kids.  Children need to understand the process of saving and making smart consumer choices.  And now there is a simple way to do bring those lessons home.

In my latest Mama on the Mic radio show, I talk with a Sacramento non-profit about how they are providing valuable financial lessons to children and teens.  After listening, please check them out at bemoneysmartusa.org

Feeding kids doesn't have to be "tricky"

If your child gets lunch at school, then you probably know they have a choice between healthy foods and crap. And you don't have to be a genius to figure out which choice most kids make. 

And since most kids seem to favor pizza and cookies over fruit and salads, the US Department of Agriculture has started a new initiative aimed at "tricking" your kid into choosing the healthier food.  These "tricks" include keeping ice cream in freezers without glass tops...so students won't see the food. Also keeping salads near the cash register, so they will have time to ponder grabbing the greens for lunch.

The USDA is actually giving Cornell University researchers a million dollars to come up with more ways of tricking kids into making healthier choices even when those tempting bad ones are around.  And to me, this is a prime example of the federal government wasting a ton of money when a simpler solution is right there in front of them.

How about this??? Don't buy the junk food!  You want to know why there are no cookies in my house??  Because I will eat the whole damn box!  I don't buy soda, candy, chips or anything like that.  Why?  Because I know I will eat it.  And if I don't WANT to eat it, why would I BUY it?  This doesn't mean I never eat candy or chips.  But I don't eat them at my home, where I eat 99% of my meals. 

I've been googling like hell and I can't find one law that requires schools to provide students the option of eating junk food.  Where does it say that schools must provide pizza, chips and soda?  I know there are contracts with food suppliers, but do schools have absolutely NO control over the menu? 

Why "trick" kids? Why not just take control of the situation?  Only provide healthy options.  If they want crap, believe me, they can find it somewhere else.

Love, friendship and the SEX in between!

If you follow Hollywood gossip (it's hard to get away from it!) then you've heard that David Arquette and Courtney Cox as well as singer Christina Aguilera and her husband Jordan Bratman, are separating. Divorce is not breaking news, but when it happens to famous couples, everyone hears about it.

From what I've read, Cox is tired of Arquette's "silly" ways and she no longer wants to "mother" him. Arquette admitted to Howard Stern he would purposely do things to embarrass his wife. And he said they hadn't been intimate in more than a month.

Now I'm not trying to lay blame, but didn't these people KNOW who they were marrying?? Arquette has always been "silly" and Cox has been described as everyone's mother. But now these qualities that led to love are no longer attractive and may soon lead to divorce.

Aguilera and Bratman's problems also seem to stem from attraction. A source close to the couple said they felt more like friends than husband and wife. I'm not saying physical attraction isn't important, but come on! In real life, married couples don't always feel like ripping each others clothes off and doing it on the kitchen counter.

In real life, a cuddle on the couch is all the intimacy a couple (especially those with kids) can muster. Have movies forced us to believe that unless we want to ravage our partner 24-7, then we must not be in love?? Give me a break.

I love my husband. ADORE him. He makes me laugh and smile more than anyone on this entire planet. He knows me and I know him. We are both fully aware of who we married...flaws and all. Does he do things that drive me completely batty? OF COURSE! Am I a pain in the ass? YES YES YES!!! But do we love each other unconditionally? Absolutely.

And shouldn't THAT be enough? Or do we need a steady stream of steamy, R-rated bedroom behavior? Do couples really think that if they find another partner, everything between the sheets will always sizzle? HA!

The truth is...everything "new" eventually becomes "normal". What you fall back on, what I believe LOVE is based on, is a firm foundation of friendship. Yet that is what both of these famous couples are willing to give up.

So, what do you do to keep your relationship going? And what would be worth breaking up over? Comment on my blog or email me at mamaonthemic@yahoo.com

Until next time...

It Takes a Community to Raise a Child

I was recently given a sneak peek of the now-released documentary Waiting for Superman. No, the movie has nothing to do with a man in a cape.  (although in one scene, a man admitted that when he was a child, he was truly disappointed to learn that no one was coming to save him from his life. Tragic.)


This movie has to do with the state of education in this country.  And while I don’t want to give too much away,  I will say that it really raised a lot of questions in my mind about what I plan to do when my daughter is ready for school.


I went to a private, Catholic school most of my school life.  I even went to an all-girls high school.  I wore a uniform until my first day of college.  (And believe me, uniforms are so much better than having to decide what to wear everyday.  Just my opinion) Basically, a private education is all I really know about.


So even though my child is not even two, I have begun researching schools.  Will it be private, public or will I send her to a charter school?  There are a lot of good ones (and not so good ones) out there.  But I know (especially after seeing this movie) that it will not necessarily be easy to get my daughter into a GOOD charter school.


How do you decide which school to send your child?  Do you ONLY look at test scores?  I personally don’t believe they are a fully accurate assessment of how a school/teacher is performing.  Do I go by philosophy, such as Catholic/Christian, Montessori, Waldorf, etc?  And how early do I commit to one style of education?  I certainly don’t want to keep moving my child from school to school as she is desperately trying to find her place, her friends, her voice.


But whatever I choose, I am still concerned about the state of public education in this country, this state and in my own neighborhood.  I know that many of the kids on my block do go to the local public school.  And the quality of education they receive has ripple effects in my own life.


If these kids are getting the attention they need to succeed, most of them will succeed.  But if they are stuck in a school where they are allowed to slip through the cracks, they will do that as well.  And then where do they go?  Gangs, prostitution, drugs?  Do I want THAT in my neighborhood? No, of course not.


I’m sure you’ve heard the saying “it takes a community to RAISE a child”.  I say it also takes a community to EDUCATE a child.  We cannot only be concerned with our own kids.  We have to understand that many different people will have various influences on our kids.  So the more we take part in making our community and local education system better, the more likely we’ll see positive effects in our own home.


So my question is this.  What do you think about the public education system as it is now?  Do YOU send your child to a public school?  Why? And if not, where does your child go?  And how did you decide?


Since I am a radio girl, I of course am expanding on my blogs with an audio show. Here I was able to talk with some top leaders who have some advice for parents whose children may be in a poor performing school. And actually, this is good advice for ALL parents to hear.