One IS enough

There are several conversations parents have with each other when you have to skate on thin ice. Discipline styles, school choices, vaccinations...they can all stir up emotions that can turn a talk between the best of friends into an awkward moment.

I was stuck in one of these this past weekend.

It had to do with having a second child. One of my really close friends has a daughter who is one and a half. And I asked when she was having a second. She told me she'd like to, but didn't see how she could afford it or where she would find the room in her and her husband's tiny home.

I told her you can never budget for kids, you just make ends meet somehow and that she could always move. Nice and neat, I solved her problem, right? WRONG!

It wasn't that easy and this wasn't the only time she'd had the conversation. The pressure to have one baby and then another was not just coming from friends, but from family. After another friend started in on how she should give her daughter a sibling, it became to much and drove this mother of one to tears.

Nobody meant to upset her, but what we failed to remember is that the choice to have ANY children is never cut and dry. While the desire might be there, the realities of life can not be swept aside as simply as a pile of toys left on the floor.

And pressure from friends and family only makes things worse. The endless questions about expanding the family can make a parent feel like they are either missing out or somehow doing their one child an injustice by not providing a sibling.

There are a lot of people who cannot even have ONE child of their own. So if a couple chooses to only have and adore one child, it isn't something that should be questioned. They shouldn't be made to feel inadequate. Instead they should be praised for raising an amazing kid who is fortunate to live in a loving home.

Time to buy or time to think?

Since it is September, that means parents are apparently supposed to be Christmas shopping. I know this because the giant toy catalog arrived a few days ago. So I grabbed my daughter and we looked through it to see what she likes.

And she proceeded to tell me that she wanted EVERYTHING. She even SANG that statement. I want everything! I want everything!

And while it is typical for children her age to WANT EVERYTHING, I stopped her each time she pointed to something and asked her WHY she wanted it.

What was it about it that she liked so much? Somethings were pretty, other things looked cool and other things she wanted just because she wanted it. It really was quite insightful!

And while I'm all for buying what you want when you can afford it, I also want her when she is older to be an educated consumer. Make sure you really want something before spending the cash on it.

I remember one time when I was a kid I was shopping with my mom and saw these sneakers I really wanted. They were something like 90 dollars. They were multi-colored and reminded me of something Punky Brewster would wear. And I just LOVED Punky.

My mom said I had to do chores to help pay for them and if after that time I still wanted them, we would get them. I never ended up buying them.

Sometimes when you have an entire toy catalog at your fingertips, it can seem like you want EVERYTHING. But when you think about it, take time to ponder it over, the shine on that purchase begins to fade.

Let's hope I remember that when the new iPhone comes out.